My Journey Through Darkness, Recovery, and Faith

A True Story of a Massive Stroke, a Six-Week Coma, and the Questions That Changed My Life

In February 2019, my life changed forever.

Without warning, I suffered a massive stroke.

One moment I was living my normal life.

The next, I was fighting for survival.

The stroke was so severe that I fell into a coma.

Not for a few hours.

Not for a few days.

For exactly six weeks.

Doctors worked to save my life.

My family waited and prayed.

My future was uncertain.

My life hung in the balance.

When I eventually woke up, I faced a long road to recovery.

But the physical recovery was only part of the story.

What happened during those six weeks led me to ask questions I had never seriously considered before.

Questions about consciousness.

Questions about reality.

Questions about life and death.

Questions about God.

Those questions eventually led me to create GodOrNot.org.

What I Remember

People often ask me what I remember from the coma.

The answer surprises many of them.

I do not remember dreams.

I do not remember visions.

I do not remember a tunnel.

I do not remember a bright white light.

I do not remember angels appearing before me.

What I remember is much simpler.

And much harder to explain.

The Darkness

I spent six weeks in what I can only describe as a pitch-black abyss.

No light.

No horizon.

No sense of time.

Just darkness.

I was engulfed in darkness and wondered:

“Am I dead?”

Then I heard a voice.

And my journey back began.

The Voice

It was warm.

It was loving.

It was reassuring.

The voice said:

“It’s not your time.”

In that moment, something changed.

I felt completely at peace.

I felt safe.

I felt protected.

I felt loved.

To this day, I cannot fully explain that experience.

I know what I heard.

I know how it made me feel.

And I know that I have never forgotten it.

Was That God?

After I woke up and began recovering, I found myself thinking about that experience again and again.

Whose voice was that?

Was it God?

Really?

No way, I thought.

I’m just a lowly human being.

Who am I for God to speak to me?

I tried to find another explanation.

Maybe it wasn’t God.

Maybe God had sent a guardian angel to reassure me.

That may sound strange to some people.

But when I look back on my life, I remember experiences that should have killed me.

Yet somehow, they didn’t.

More than once, I found myself walking away from situations that could have ended very badly.

I’ve often felt as though someone was watching over me.

Protecting me from myself.

Protecting me from some of the foolish decisions I made when I was younger.

Protecting me from all of the stupid situations I managed to get myself into.

Was there really a guardian angel watching over me?

I don’t know.

But it is one of the possibilities I considered.

Maybe it was something else entirely.

I honestly don’t know.

I can’t prove it with the scientific method.

I can only tell you what I experienced.

But there is one thing I do know.

I believe God has a purpose for my life.

After everything that happened, I cannot escape that feeling.

I survived a massive stroke.

I survived a six-week coma.

And when I look back on my life, I realize I survived many other situations that should have killed me.

More than once, I walked away from circumstances that could have ended very differently.

Why?

I don’t claim to know all the answers.

But I believe there is a reason I am still here.

Maybe part of that reason is to share my story with you.

Maybe part of that reason is to encourage you to ask difficult questions.

Maybe part of that reason is to help others who are searching for answers, just as I was.

I don’t know exactly what God’s purpose is.

But I believe there is one.

The questions never left me.

In many ways, those questions became the beginning of the journey that eventually led to GodOrNot.org.

The People Who Refused to Give Up

While I was lying in a hospital bed fighting for my life, I was not fighting alone.

My older brother Tony refused to give up on me.

The doctors had given up on me.

They believed I was a lost cause.

They wanted to remove my life support.

But Tony refused to give permission.

He refused to give up on me.

My family refused to give up on me.

My girlfriend refused to give up on me.

My friends refused to give up on me.

And I later learned that more than one hundred people were praying for me in a prayer group.

People from different parts of my life came together with a single hope:

That I would survive.

That I would wake up.

That I would have another chance at life.

At the time, I knew nothing about these efforts.

I was in a coma.

I was unaware of what was happening around me.

Only later did I learn how many people had been pulling for me, praying for me, and hoping for my recovery.

Their faith.

Their prayers.

Their support.

And their refusal to give up became an important part of my story.

Had Tony given permission, I would not be here writing these words today.

The Questions

After my stroke, I became fascinated by questions that many people spend their entire lives asking.

What is consciousness?

Where does awareness come from?

Why does anything exist at all?

Why are we here?

Does life have purpose?

Is consciousness merely the product of matter?

Or is there something deeper behind human awareness?

Did I truly experience something extraordinary during my coma?

Or were the drugs the doctors had me on responsible for what I experienced?

Could the voice I heard have been a hallucination?

What explains the astonishing fine-tuning of the universe?

Where did the information in DNA come from?

Can science fully explain consciousness?

Is there evidence for God?

I did not set out to prove anything.

I simply wanted answers.

The more I studied cosmology, biology, consciousness, philosophy, and theology, the more I realized that humanity is still wrestling with some of the deepest questions imaginable.

And perhaps those questions matter more than anything else.

Why I Created GodOrNot.org

Before we go any further, I want to be transparent about something.

I believe in God.

My experiences and years of reflection have led me in that direction.

Because of that, I naturally find arguments for purpose, meaning, and design compelling.

At the same time, I believe difficult questions deserve honest examination, and I welcome people who reach different conclusions.

I did not create this website to tell people what they must believe.

I did not create it to argue.

I did not create it to preach.

I created it because I became fascinated by evidence.

I wanted to explore the biggest questions of human existence honestly and openly.

Throughout this website, you’ll find discussions about:

• The Fine-Tuning of the Universe

• DNA and Information

• Consciousness and Meaning

• The Origin of Life

• Reality and Human Experience

Some readers may agree with my conclusions.

Others may disagree.

That’s okay.

My goal is not to win arguments.

My goal is to encourage thoughtful exploration of the evidence and the questions that arise from it.

I want this website to be a place where people feel welcome to share their perspectives.

A place where respectful conversations can happen.

A place where believers, skeptics, agnostics, atheists, and seekers can exchange ideas.

A place where we can learn from one another.

And perhaps they are the same questions that brought you here.

Questions about life.

Questions about consciousness.

Questions about reality.

Questions about God.

I don’t claim to have all the answers.

But I believe these questions are worth asking.

Come Take This Journey With Me

Whether you’re a believer, a skeptic, an agnostic, an atheist, or simply someone searching for answers, you are welcome here.

So come take this journey with me.

Let’s explore.

Let’s question.

Let’s learn.

Let’s follow the evidence wherever it leads.